~.~

Oh man, today was aimless. I just feel that sometimes I really have very little to look forward to, and I get really really frustrated when this happens. No good, absolutely no good. I really hope I can change this though. I dont want to spend another day waking up, staring at my com, wondering whether I should do work. And then falling asleep, waking up to realise that I have only very little time left to do work and rushing it.

I really feel that days like this are a waste, I could be better off doing something that is practical, that is useful!

On a sidenote, I really do wish to spread the gospel to a really good friend of mine. I really do. But I do not know how to start the topic, to open up my mouth and start that topic. I pray that I will have the courage to talk to that person about it, and God touches that person's heart.

@.@

Ahh, woke up and had continuous sneezing, even when Im typing this right now. Not sure whether it had got to do with the weather and everything, the constant downpour these days or the ashes flying up and into my house every now and then.

Anyway, I just had a bad bad night last night, turning around on my bed until about 3am I guess. Could not sleep at all. I wished that I could sleep though, and I prayed. But it didn't seem to work out though, after trying again and again.


But what probably made the difference at 3am was that I realised that I was not trusting Him. Although I did pray, my heart was rock solid, still not trusting Him that He can bring me to slumber. And eventually when I decided to trust him fully, I fell asleep.

Yep anyway, Im grateful to Him, but still a little irritated with my nose.

._.

Woah, its a double post on the same day! Just had a sudden feeling to go put down my feelings, feelings that have been brewing for a long long time.

A few weeks back, I just had a talk with my dao shi, which is my cell group leader 'teacher'. It was about track. Yep, as you trace back to my second post, you would probably realise that I am injured athlete, a badly injured athlete at that. I really really feel very sad, very depressed when I cannot train, and its a feeling that I cannot describe.

Disallowing an eager athelete to run is like taking the legs of a runner, taking the fingers of a pianist. To be honest, track has been something I disliked alot, but since I am forced to enter track and field, I decided to just follow my fate. But after training and training so hard, track has become a part of me.

Track is probably one of the time where I can really let go of everything, and just let out all my anger, all the things bothering me on the track, on every single step I take on the track. And when I sweat it all out, it really feels good.

To me, track is the simplest thing. Its the only time when I do not need to care about what others think of me, the repercussions of my actions, but just run, run and run. My teammates have become a part of my life, track has become something I cannot do without.

Just coming back to the point of talking to my dao shi, I have come to realise that God should be placed above everything else. Am I unknowingly placing track above God?

God can give me the blessing to win my nationals, and similarly, God can take away everything he has given me.

*Prayer for the day : I hope I can place God above everything else. Above all.*

Keyboarrrd

Yep, Im currently taking up keyboard lessons for church. Glad to be able to do so. But the main problem Im facing now is that Im not able to fill in properly! Fortunately, I have Stanley shifu to help me.
Jokes aside, keyboard has been a platform of joy, for expressing myself and I really do enjoy myself during band practice. To be able to play in a band with my friends is a wonderful feeling, a truly wonderful thing.

I really just let go of everything in my mind. Every single, little, small, irritating thing bothering me everyday. And Im really grateful to God that Im able to do that.

Hopefully, really hopefully I can continue to be able to improve. All for Him and Him only.

=)